Mind Over Matter

A mind that is on repeat, a mind of which cannot be silent, a mind that is never still. Is this the life I'm condemned to?

How do I quiet the ever-present voice of doubt? The eerie stillness in my mind is never reassuring. It will rise, always, The continual loathing, the treachery that works within.

A mind that cannot be still, a mind that is both beautiful and damaging. A mind that is everything and yet allows nothing to break through the crack. Allowing a fake smile upon the porcelain face. That facade for all to see.

How long will it take for people to see the truth, the cracks in the armour, the chinks in the soft face that never stops smiling? Until one day it does.

A mind that whispers loudly for one, A mind that can destroy without thought. 

Can this cycle be broken? A mind that will not see reason, a mind with knowledge, yet doesn't seem to be able to conjure a solid thought. 

No light allowed into the dark cover that is its self-made cage. 

The smile still in place, the cracks filled with hate, the chinks mended barely awaiting that slight hesitation for that thread to snap. 

A cycle that will continue until it can no longer cope with the ever-building pressure and shatters. With no way out, no light penetrating, no hope. Just a repetitive circle of ever-present doom. 

No matter for this mind

 

~ Jess Bagnall